Yesterday to celebrate my brother’s continued existence (he is now a quarter of a century old!) I went on a cake baking rampage; I baked mini Hummingbird Cupcakes, Red Velvet Cupcakes with vanilla icing and Lemon/Lime cupcakes with a tangy centre. The cakes were well received but being so ambitious yesterday has left me exhausted.
I’ve been chronically ill for nine years now but I still get overly ambitious. I get excited when I have the energy to do something (like bake a lot of cakes), go overboard and then spend the next couple of days barely able to watch TV.
What’s not helping is that I’m incredibly stressed right now. I’m going back into hospital in June to finish my stem cell transplant which is scary enough but I’m also worried about my future. I have incredibly caring friends and family but I’m living in a world where you’re condemned for not having the foresight to be born without a genetic, immunological disorder.
Baking an excessive amount of cake isn’t enough to distract me from all of the above.
When I’m exhausted it’s easy to become negative but I’m going to eat a cupcake, skim my favourite Clement Attlee biography and hope that next week brings better things.